A Humbling Experience
I’m not sure why I’m compelled to share a real-life experience I had this evening with my peeps on the interwebs. Maybe it’s because I’m an emotional wreck after coming off the “Hot Ticket New Release” high, but tonight I have been reminded how very fortunate I am. Sometimes I think we need a reminder. Or maybe I’m the only one who gets wrapped up in myself and forget that the real world can be a very ugly and harsh place.
I was too lazy to cook tonight, so decided I wanted a burger from Chili’s. So the kid (he’s almost 20–I still think of him as a kid) and I head down Seawall Blvd in the driving rain to the restaurant for a mother/son dinner. The place is dead. There are maybe four tables with souls brave (or stupid) enough to go out in the pouring rain. When it rains in Galveston, it RAINS in Galveston.
So in addition to the few people in booths, there’s this one guy sitting at the bar. I notice him because we are sitting in the booth right next to the bar and he has a huge puddle under his stool that has collected from the drippings off his leather jacket. He’s wearing a beanie, has a tattoo of a Japanese kanji on his neck, and is drinking water after water. I also notice him because he seems nervous. He keeps fidgeting. Looking over his shoulder. As if he doesn’t belong there or he’s waiting for someone. Maybe he got stood up by his date. Maybe he’s about to rob the place. I’m an author. I make up shit in my head about people all the time. Don’t act weird around me. You will end up in a book. Or at least in a fantasy about you robbing a Chili’s in Galveston.
So while waiting for our meal I’m prattling on and on about my books to my son. And will this one be a best seller? I don’t think it’s doing quite as well as Double Time. And when will I be able to afford that beach house I’ve always wanted? And I’m sharing all my plans about my future books. And how I think I should handle my next series. And all the backlash I’m still getting for the Sinners’ books being released out of order. And what I said in a blog post I wrote earlier. And how I answered this question on a facebook chat. And oh aren’t I clever? And blah-dy blah-dy blah. My son looks like a zombie at this point. Yeah, I was talking about myself way too much, but my son is very quiet and he answers sentences in mono-syllables. Do you have one of these kids? So I fill in all the conversation and he basically listens. Or does math in his head. Something.
Food arrives and the wet guy at the bar comes up to our table and asks if we can give him and his dog a ride to the East end of the Island. His car broke down and it started raining on him while he was walking to Chili’s for some food. My son, trusting Midwesterner that he is, immediately agrees. But looks at me and says, but I don’t have the keys.
I’m immediately imagining this guy pulling a gun on us, forcing us to the ATM machine to give him all our money, killing us, dumping us into the ocean, and stealing our car. The overactive imagination of an author is a burden sometimes. Plus, people have GUNS in Texas (concealed guns) and that’s okey dokey with everyone. Except me. I don’t have a gun. And I had forgotten my cellphone at home. So if I’m lying bleeding to death under the pleasure pier, I can’t call for help.
So I ask Wet-guy if he has a way to get his car fixed. That nervousness about him increases. He won’t look me in the eye. My son is about as perceptive as a goldfish. I honestly don’t think he noticed how the guy was acting. Wet-guy wasn’t a big guy. He’s pencil thin and he was young. Maybe 21 or 22. He tells me that his brother is supposed to help him financially with getting the car fixed but he hadn’t heard back from him and he wasn’t going to worry about getting it towed until the next day. I can tell he’s lying about something. He will NOT look me in the eye. I taught students for over ten years. I know what someone looks like when they lie. Then he tells me the car starts but it dies whenever he tries to drive it, but the heater works if he has to sleep in it. I’m thinking, hmm, strange. So the nice person in me, who can’t say ‘no’ even though I really do think this guy is a car-jacking maniac, tells him to let me finish my meal. I did not commit to driving him to the dark, deserted east end of the Island, but I didn’t turn him down.
Because I start thinking, wonder if he’s telling the truth. He’s desperate enough to ask a complete stranger for a ride. What if this was my kid? I’d want someone to help him out if his car broke down and he was stranded. So I finished my meal and tell this guy to get his dog and meet us at the car.
While we’re waiting for him to collect his dog and I’m considering bailing on him with the squeal of my PT Cruiser’s tires, I ask my son if he thinks this guy is capable of mugging us. I’m kind of worried about this situation. Don’t pick up hitchhikers and all that jazz.
You don’t trust anyone, do you, Mom? my son says.
Not especially. A single woman doesn’t have that liberty. It will be fine, I tell myself. 99.999999% of people are good. What’s the chance that I found one of the 0.0000001% who aren’t good tonight? And how desperate is this guy. Good people do bad things when they are desperate.
So now we’re driving in the car. Small cute, well-behaved dog and wet-guy are in the backseat. He starts talking to my son–who apparently does talk, just not to me. The wet-guy introduces himself as John.
Do you live in Galveston? my son asks.
Yeah, just a couple months. I’ve been living in my car.
Great, now I have a homeless wet guy in my car with his cute little dog and his to-go cup of water for said dog. And I’m driving him to the dark end of the island. The uncivilized end of the island. Where homeless kids who live in their broken down cars hide from the police. He keeps talking about the officer who patrols the high-end condos on that end of the Island.
John comments, That cop always has his blue lights on. I wonder what those condos are like on the inside. Real expensive. I’d like to stay in a place like that someday.
My son comments that we’ve never stayed in a really nice hotel.
Maybe, I think, but we don’t live in our car, either.
I’m not scared of John at all at this point. I’m crushed as I listen to him share his life story with my son.
Why did you come to Galveston? my son asks. Your parents from here?
No, they bailed on me when I was a little kid. I just like it here. They brought me here once when I was young. I’ve always wanted to come back.
Okay, seriously, my heart is aching for this kid. You can hear it in his voice. How lonely he is. How hurt. But he has his little dog. And his broken down car that he lives in. And yeah, I know how easy it is for an abandoned kid to end up homeless.
And my son tells him how boring the Midwest is. And they discuss vegetables, farming and gardening. Don’t like vegetables. You should eat them anyway. Just back and forth “guy talk” about nothing. Everyone is avoiding the white elephant in the car. This kid is all alone in a strange place and living in his fucking car. And my heart is like a melted ball of butter in my chest. So we get to the place where John wants to be dropped off near his car, which he has hidden behind a hill so that cop won’t bother him, and we let him out and I say I hope things work out for you. And my son says, Good luck, man. And I do a U-turn and head back to the civilized end of the island. Where I live. In a house with a bunch of excess stuff I don’t really need.
So now, as I’m driving away, the guilt hits me. Should I have given him money? Gotten his car fixed for him? Does he have a job? Does he need help finding a job? Does he need a mom, because I’ve got the adoption papers right here, goddammit. He’s around my son’s age. Right? I can still adopt him. I don’t care if he’s over 18. That boy needs a mom.
And my son looks at me and he says, Are you crying?
Am I? I don’t know. Damn, I feel like I should have helped him more. I could have given him some money or something.
Mom, are you bipolar? my son says. Five minutes ago, you thought he was going to mug us.
Not bipolar. I just had my point of view altered. This reminds me how fortunate we are. That could have been us, baby. We could have been living in a car. Instead, we lived on credit cards for ten years.
If I hadn’t had a family to support me after my divorce, I would have been homeless. Just like that kid. Like John.
And my son says, That is why I’m going to mooch off you for as long as possible. (My kid has a great of humor. LOL!) I would have been living in my Bronco if I’d stayed in Nebraska.
Um, no, not happening. I’ve got you. I always will.
I was definitely humbled by those few short minutes with a stranger I met in Chili’s. And it reminded of how much I have and how lucky I am to have made something out of myself, because I started with less than nothing. That could have been me. Would some stranger have given me a ride in the rain? Would I have been as grateful for a ride as John was?
And damn, he reminded me of Jace.
Good luck in the cruel, cold world, kiddo. Maybe we’ll meet again some day.
that made me cry.
Me too, Dana. Me too.
and me thanks now my screen of my game WOW is all blurry makes me want to run out and find him and give him a cheeseburger and some fund but you are right as a single woman i too think everyone is a serial killer
Holy crap…now I want to drive to Galvaston and adopt John too. I mean it’s not that far from NC.
Sounds like the perfect introduction to a new book you can write. : )
*sniff *sniff…now I love you more Ms. Cunning. Love how your author minds worked. With all the mugging and serial killer stuff, i’m giggling here and I’m staring to think I’m bipolar too. I’ll be thinking of John while reading Jace. Harsh reality of life.:(
I’m crying as I read this. As a teacher, and a divorced single mom, I know exactly how you feel because I feel it everyday with my students. Even though things are tight, I always figure if there’s room in my heart. I can make the rest work.
Go back. Bring a hot meal, some dog food, and clean clothes. Bring your listening ears and your caring heart but leave your judgement at home.
Sometimes, simply knowing you have a friend can make the difference between life and death.
Good bless you for simply loving.
Yes…that is a real eye opener. You have a wonderful son.
How ironic. That could of been Jace.
Olivia thank you so much for that story. It’s my 49th birthday today and I am so humbled by your story it brought a tear to my eye and makes me grateful for what i have . Thanks again
gina jackson
That’s such a touching story, Olivia. You are such a sweetheart and I probably have gone through the same array of feelings you went through. Do I trust a stranger? I keep telling my boys to not go to people they do not know, mind you they are still very young. It makes me sad though that we live in a world where we do not trust anyone anymore, even the good people with all the craziness happening around us. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I hope, too, that John is ok. We should all be reminded, once in a while, how lucky we are with what we have compared to many other poeple who have so much less than us.
xoxo
Wow! That story brought tears to my eyes!
damn now I am worried about the guy
wow. just… wow. *sniff*
Me too. The New Yorker I am says you were crazy and never should have given him the ride. The human who wants to believe in good says I’m glad you did.
I would’ve felt the same way – scared, then heartbroken.
Life is tough. Some of us have it easy, even if we think we don’t. It’s moments like this that make us appreciate what we have.
Thanks for sharing Olivia and good luck with your stories. You are an awesome writer.
Wow…yeah im alot like you. But reading this brought two people to mind. Michael oher from blindside and of course Jace.
Ah damn you made me cry and now MY son is asking if I’m bipolar since I was just dancing around the kitchen ten minutes ago. Thank you for sharing Olivia. I’m sure that just as you were humbled by your interaction with him he was given hope just by being treated like a human being by you and your son.
Thanks for sharing. It’s funny how our eyes can be opened by giving something as simple as a car ride (although I was scared for you at first!). You made a difference for that kid tonight. 🙂
That is so sad 😦 Your random act of kindness will be repaid someday! He won’t forget what you did. Not when he had his own parents turn their backs on him. I was teary eyed reading it as well. Thank you for reminding me even though I’m not rich, I have many things to be thankful for ❤
Proverbs 19:17 He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done.
Olivia,
Sometimes we receive the reminders we need to count our blessings, at the right time, in the right place. You and your son, were John’s blessings tonight. Because of you, he made it back to his car and dog safely, for one more night. Because of you, he knows there are nice people in the world, who aren’t “afraid” to look a stranger in the eye, hold out a helping hand, or simply talk and acknowledge him as a person. Yes, he could have been Jace, and maybe, just maybe his Aggie is out there, going through her own shit, becoming the strong, loving woman he deserves.
As Prince would say, “dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…”
May you, and your son, continue to be blessed, and continue to bless others with the gift that is your time.
Namaste,
Michelle
Totally crying
Reblogged this on Chronicles of a 40-something Nurse Wannabe and commented:
Time to pause, take a deep breath and count our blessings. Namaste.
That’s such a sad story. The whole time that I was reading it, I thought, “Sounds like Jace.” On a happier note, I loved Hot Ticket. I read it last night in one sitting and stayed up until 1:30am to finish it. I left a five star review on Amazon. You did a fantastic job on it. I can’t wait for Eric’s book and the next Sole Regret book. Maybe you were meant to meet that guy tonight. Fate is funny that way. Congrats on your success.
Not only are you a fantastic author, but you are a kind person. I think I adore you even more now.
Thank you for sharing your story, and reminding me to be grateful for what I have, and kind to others.
Reminds me of an Alabama song, “Angels Among Us” they teach us things we aren’t aware of. Great testimony Olivia & congrats on another Sinners book. I’m eager to read it. I bet John would feel good knowing how much you cared enough to write a blog about him; his life example. He’s a strong person; because he’s a survivor. He’ll make it.
Hi, Nadine! I’m in SA also. Do you want to carpool?
Cindi
Now you have me in tears! I’m in San Antonio and I feel like driving 4 hours just to see if he’s okay. We are all lucky. At any point in our life that could be any of us. I’m so thankful and blessed for the life I do have. Tonight I will pray for a total stranger that I’ve never even met. I wish that boy well.
Such a touching post. I hope that things turn around for John.
<——this girl is 😥 😥 😥 I've had similar situations and honestly every time I see a homeless person I wonder what their story is, could it have been avoided, is my "change" gonna really help them, what could I have done, do I do anything with my babies in the car, how I should be being an example to them, but I don't want them to be gullible, etc, etc, etc. My heart is breaking, but really the best thing we can do is pray that God takes care of him better than we could ever do. Tough situation. Just know that you and kind hearted kiddo (WTG Momma) made an impact, be it small or large. I'm sure he won't forget the kindness you showed him and that you have restored his faith in humanity and given him a hope! If you have hope, you have a will, where you have a will, you have a way. (Tight Texas Sqeezes) ❤ ya!
As they say “Pay it forward” you and your son are good people.
I hope someday, when that kid gets on his feet, he’ll remember what you did for him….just giving him a ride and talking to him….and pays it forward for someone else. You done good tonight Olivia. I’m proud of you. ♥
Oh my goodness. That breaks my heart.
**cryface** I finished Jace’s story less than 10 minutes ago, and then read this. You’re killing me here, babe. Stay safe in body, and open in heart. **hugs**
wow, just wow. Love this story and you captured the moment beautifully.
It made me cry and now I wished that I lived closer to help this person.
Wonderful story that makes anyone that reads it count their blessings. I couldn’t help but think of Michael Oher of “Blindside” who just won the SuperBowl. You never know what good can come from a random act of kindness…
I am a sobbing ball of ugly crying here! What a great thing you did to help John tonight. I am sure he appreciated it more than you can imagine. The dog tore my heart out too! I hope they catch a lucky break.
Now Im wondering how that boy/man is?
Wow….best of luck to that kid is all I can say.
You did something good helping him out even for a short time.
I believe everyone comes into our life for a reason & I think your kindness touched him. Such kindness could have changed his life for the better! Love your books!!!
Thanks for sharing, Olivia. And thank you for looking approachable. Imagine how hard John looked around at those few folks in Chili’s, trying to decide who was safest to ask for a ride “home” on that dark and rainy night. And I bet he was a bit jealous of your son, who has a mother who stuck around through bad times herself. Finally, so what are ya’ll gonna do now?
Cindi
Wow…crying big ol’ tears over here!!!
I don’t know if I would of done what you did. I have a wild imagination and living in NYC area I would of thought for sure I would of been dumped on the side of the road. I’d like to live in a world were there more people that were kind like you and your son. My heart hurts for John and I wish we could all do something to help him. I’m sure he has no idea the impact he had on you both and now on all of us.
OMG Olivia this story made me cry. At first i’m all smiling because your son sounds just like mine (he’s also 20). It brakes my heart reading this because so many times i had to help out my sons’ friends because they were either kicked out by their parents, or the parents were too drunk and fighting and they needed a place to stay. It was in during those times that my boys would come up to me, hug me and thank me for everything i do for them. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
You inspire and captivate the world when you write, so the question know is, what lesson do you want your son to understand about what happened in the car tonight and, if anything, what will happen tomorrow. I cried as I read this thinking he gave you a little glimps of himself and as nervous as you were he was probably just as nervous. Tonight I am thankful for people like you who open your hearts and cars to offer a helping hand. However, maybe that was just the beginning of your journey…
On another note, Jaces story tore me open and I loved every page of it…
Thank you so much for sharing this story, Olivia. Sometimes we need a reminder like this one to really think about how lucky we are to have people who loves us and supports us with all their might. What a powerful story!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Sometimes I think God sends us reminders to remind us that we don’t have a life that’s so bad. Others haven’t been as fortunate as we have & we shouldn’t take things no matter how big or small for granted. God bless you for having a change if heart! You did something kind for a stranger.
You made me laugh with your banter, and then you made me cry. This world is such a hard place to live in, for anyone. Rich or poor.
Wow. Thanks for sharing your experience. He was probably as afraid of you as you were of him. Don’t blame you For your thought cause the boogey man rarely looks like the boogey man. We all have stories to tell for sure. I am so very very grateful for where I am today. God only knows there but for the grace of God go I.
People are still bitching about the reading order. I mean it isn’t like you didn’t explain that it was out of your hands. And at that point it is up to the reader to decide to read them in the order of publication or order you intended them to be in. As much as I wanted to read Trey’s story it was not going to kill me to wait to get to it in the order you intended it!
About the kid you have a ride to. My heart broke for him as I read. I am much like you as I am sure many of us are it is hard to help people when the world is filled with bad people if I could I would help eveyone I possible could.
I do hope that you come across him again soon and it would be amazing to hear you help him get a place to stay or a job or even a hot meal…
I am sure he will never forget you and your son. you gave him hope I am sure, to know that things can turn around and that there are good people out there. You did something good for someone who was in need! 😉
Thank you so much for sharing this. One of my favorite sayings is “Be kinder than necessary. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.” That’s exactly what you did. You showed an example of generosity and compassion for your son. Thank you for doing that.
This was a great post. I’m pretty sure that if I were in your position with my kid (I have daughters though) that I would not have given that kid a ride. I’m so jaded and I don’t trust anyone, BUT I would have wanted to. You did way more for him than most people would have, especially a single woman, and I’m sure you reminded him of one more reason why he wanted to return to Galveston — the kind people.
Wonderful post. I can’t help but think how different it is when the genders are reversed in this situation. The times in my youth where I had to beg a ride from a strange man… scary! However, nothing bad happened, which proves there is still a lot of goodness left in the world.
Thank you Olivia. That was a great post. Kudos to you for thinking like a mom and overcoming your misgivings. My heart is breaking for that boy. And his dog 😦
Thanks for sharing. Loved Hot Ticket. Can’t wait for Eric’s story.
I grew up in a home where my father took in many many ppl who simply had nothing. As I’ve grown up, I’ve also opened my home whether it be a hot meal, shower or bed for a few days. I’ve also been the person who was in need. I’m thankful I wasn’t left on the side of the road with a ‘Kudo’s …hope it works out for you’. Yep, the few freaks ruin our trust for the ppl who truly need it. It’s heartbreaking that you felt you and your son were in danger and weren’t able to see him to a shelter.
oh gosh so sad hope hes ok go drive over to where he was see if his car is still there next time your out and about x
Dont just feel guilty help the kid out until he’s on his feet. Just think but for the grace of God that could be your son. You can tell alot about someone by the way they treat their pets. He’s still trying to take care of his furry friend when he can’t even take care of his self. God put that kid in your path for a reason, act on it, don’t just write about it.
Made me cry too…
That made me cry. You’re a good person Olivia and you have a wonderful son.
I also would have been afraid to help him even though I would have wanted to. I know that there are more good people than bad in the world, and it’s a shame that people are scared to do the right thing and help a person in need because of the bad things that a few people will do.
I hope everything works out for John and his little dog.
That made me cry. Good on ya olivia. You did a good thing no doubt.
These kind of encounters make you see that your (mine, our) problems are so small sometimes. He has a dog…Nobody who cares for a pet is a bad person, so you did a good thing. Thank you, Olivia, for sharing this experience with us.
thats a really sad story – sometimes we need a reminder of just how lucky we are. I hope you go back to check on him – maybe find some info on shelters or some type of charity to help him. I just can’t help woondering whats going to happen to him now. Please – now you’ve thought about it and brought him to us – at least go and check on him and let us know how he’s doing?
Thank you for sharing Olivia. You are a kind person and a talented author.
This story brought tears to my eyes. I can’t even imagine the desperation to ask complete strangers for a ride. You and your son are kind people, the world needs more people like you. Thank you for sharing.
That was a great story but the entire time I am reading it I keep waiting for you to give him a meal, some money to get a meal, yeah the ride was brave, nice thing to do. But he probably kept drinking water cuz he was hungry. You were blessed to be reminded of your blessings. Great for you. Great for him? Sorry just saying.
He’d already eaten. His empty plate was sitting in front of him at the bar. I did not realize he was homeless until he told me. And you wouldn’t have either.
There should have been a warning at the beginning to have a tissue. I almost started crying. You are such a nice person and so is your son!!
:sniff: I just want to say a big Thank You for sharing!
OMG my eyes are burning with tears…..thank you for sharing that story! We can all use a humbling moment each day!
Thank you for sharing. (Pass me a tissue please!) I live in San Francisco and see my share of young people sitting on the sidewalks with their dogs looking so lost. Even something as simple as saying “Hello” or “Good Morning” brings a smile to some of their faces. A moment of compassion for a stranger goes a long way.
Sad…you’re right, we DO need the reminders. We have to be careful about trusting, but I hope that he will be alright. You are quite blessed, your son sounds great! Thank you for sharing.
That was very touching, I don’t know if this type of situation happens other places but it seems to happen often here in Texas. Guess that’s just the Texas way 😉 Also it’s so cool that one of my favorite authors lives just down 45 from me, would love to run into you at a Chili’s (lol)
You broke my heart Olivia. I was getting misty just reading it. My Mom found a friend of mine sleeping in her car behind the restaurant we all worked in back in high school. I had no idea her Mom had kicked her out. We took her in and she lived with us for a few years while she got her life together. She is now a successful nurse, wife and mother of two great kids (funny enough her youngest is an Olivia). We have an unbreakable bond (including The Sinners) I love her like a sister and she reminds me (just like you just did) that the best things in life are the things that you cannot buy and we all need to appreciate our blessings (large and small) every day. I hope John finds his way.
I love the bi-polar line from your son. Honey, that’s called being a woman. We change our moods on a dime. I thank you for sharing this story. We’ve all been in a situation similar to this and struggled with our decision. This screwed up world we live in has necessitated our apprehension to help others. It’s really a shame.
so sad! hope things turn around for this kid. love that he has a dog to keep him company. probably keeps him sane. the story made me think of Eric. how could his parents just walk out on him? what kind of people do that to their own flesh and blood. if I’ve learned anything it’s that life is pretty brutal and ugly for a lot of people. and very painful. you, and your son, probably made his day by spending time with him and just having some meaningless conversation. you’ll probably stay on his mind just as much as he will stay on yours.
Wow, that is a very humbling experience – I hope things work out for John. You will probably stay in his mind – for being kind enough to give him a ride as well as listening. He must be feeling very alone in this world and you showed him some kindness when his own family abandoned him. The cynical city girl in me would have walked away for every reason you listed and the hopeful girl (she’s in there somewhere) is happy that you took a chance to help someone out.
There are times when I think my life is difficult but then I hear about stories like this – and I start counting my blessings.
So many sad stories in this world and people either homeless or one step from it. So many throw away kids and people. It does break your heart. My son is forever bringing throw aways home and has all his life. Some are good some aren’t but it makes your heart proud that your son cares. Altho I haven’t gotten to know your son well, I like what I have seen of him. It’s good to see he has a caring heart. You DO realize the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. 🙂 You might have been fearful, but you did help.
As someone mentioned above, be on the lookout for him. Carry a bag of dogfood in your car and wander that way and give it to him for his little dog. His pride may accept that.
*sniff *sniff…now I love you more Ms. Cunning. Love how your author minds worked. With all the mugging and serial killer stuff, i’m giggling here and I’m staring to think I’m bipolar too. I’ll be thinking of John while reading Jace. Harsh reality of life.:(
This one had me sitting back in my chair for a bit, just wishing there was some way to do something. You and your son were so awesome to help this guy and his dog. In this day and age, you just never know but you all were brave and kind enough to reach out. A lot of folks wouldn’t have, sad to say. I would probably think the same as you..should you take him and the dog food. The dog thing is what really hits me. They are unconditional love on four legs so I want it safe and taken care of as well. Its the kind of experience that will probably haunt you. I really hope life turns around for him and he is able to create something where he is safe and happy. If you see them again, please let us know how they’re doing!.
While crying ….. ( I’ve been to Galveston a bunch) and I’m thinking of how REALLY dark that side of the island is ! And. I want to say THANK u from that stranger for helping him ! Hopefully he will get himself together and pay it forward and help someone else down the road !!!! U are awesome Olivia !
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that was a good story and I got a lump in my throat. I think it is good to help people like that out just think of the amount of courage it took to take that kid to ask for help. And the courage it took you to help him..